“When I looked in the window the line was too long…I mean we’re talking a 30 minute wait just for a quick trim, so…I’m not proud of it, but, I went to Short Back ‘n’ Sidez instead,” shared Brian Crean before bursting into guilt infused tears.
The confession of barber infidelity came after several months of Crean failing to cross the threshold of his regular barber’s Keith’s Kuts, choosing instead the cheaper alternative of Short Back ‘n’ Sidez.
“I was afraid Keith would see me out an about, my head looking all freshly cut, the fade done real nice and he’d know that I’d cheated, he’d know someone elses hands were on my beautiful head,” added Crean, failing to regain his composure, the tears still flowing.
“Of course I feel guilty, Keith’s been there for all the big ones; me debs cut, the one I got before Magaluf last summer and the one I got for my brother’s wedding. I still credit that last haircut with getting me the ride off one of the bridesmaid’s,” added Brian.
Barber infidelity is among the most egregious of acts that a man can commit and can have a devastating impact on members of the hair cutting fraternity.
“What, does Brian think I talk about the football and say ‘any plans for the weekend?’ to every lad who walk in here? We had a sacred bond, well, we did until he threw it all away,” shared Keith, of Keith’s Kutz as he drew the shutters on his establishment for the day.
“I can’t cut when I’m upset because when I’m upset my hands get upset too,” Keith explained, as he questioned every detail of every haircut he administered to regulars, looking out for signs that they too could be off cheating on him too.
“Did he talk to you about the weather, Brian? Did he give you that weird head massage we barbers do on your temples? Did he?” Keith said as dropped to his knees and shouted towards the skies.