Local Woman Always Carrying A Bottle Of Water Around With Her


“Hydration is key”; the phrase most uttered by Dublin woman Susie Breen (27) who since kick-starting a new ‘health and wellness’ routine earlier this year has had a stainless steel water bottle glued to her hand, constantly used to replenish her body’s water stocks.

No matter the time of day or social occasion, Breen has not been seen without the 750ml capacity, environmentally-conscious bottle at hand as she attempts to ‘live her best life’ and constantly retain the recommended amount of water.

“Alright, we get it, unlike the rest of us you don’t treat your body like a great big bin where all the alcohol and takeaways go. Stop showing off,” shared one of Breen’s coworkers.

Despite having the bottle permanently affixed to her right hand, Breen still manages to enjoy a normal existence which includes carrying out work tasks, driving, cycling, going to the gym and wiping her arse after doing a number two, but the sound of the bottle’s metal cap being unscrewed and screwed throughout the day remains incredibly irritating to those in Breen’s company.

“She even changes out of her work shoes at lunch when he heads to the cafe to get a fancy salad. You’d worry about some people you know,” added another coworker

The tough decision to sedate Breen was taken by friends and family so a team of surgeons had enough time to work on the account manager’s hand, prying it away from the bottle and granting Breen the ability to live a normal life.

“This is the 15th such surgery I’ve carried out this week on Irish women, removing yoga mats from under their arms, however is far more complex and risky surgery,” explained Dr. Emma Ganton.