Single Woman In Her 30s Down To The Absolute Dregs


ONE LOCAL single woman in her 30s is on the verge of giving up on the dating scene in Ireland owing to the grim and dwindling supply of suitable suitors.

31-year-old Sarah O’Loughlin, single for 2 years 6 months and 3 weeks but who’s counting, is reportedly down to the absolute dregs when it comes to dateable men in her peer group who can last five minutes in a conversation before revealing some hideously off-putting component of their personality.

“Am I a bit picky? Sure who isn’t, but I mean…Jesus, have you seen what I’m working with?” shared O’Loughlin with WWN in a phone call made mid-date from a pub toilet.

“He’s been talking about how he still collects Pokemon cards and that he’ll only go out with a woman if they let his mother measure their ear lobes first,” continued O’Loughlin, unimpressed with other women’s hand me downs and rejects.

While men in their 30s have made similar complaints when it comes to the dating pool, O’Loughlin’s travails highlight the difficulty in remaining an optimistic romantic in the face of reality.

“Honestly, all that’s left out there is my weird cousin Stephen, lads with the emotional intelligence of a killer robot and the cast of Herpes The Musical,” concluded O’Loughlin before going back to her date to listen some more about how Japanese Anime porn gets a bad rap and is actually very artistic.

Some experts in dating have labeled O’Loughlin ‘hard work’ and have asked her if she has considered accepting whoever comes along next and just settling for that.