“Business always picks up around this time of year,” explained Wexford based priest Fr. Tom Stafford of his second job as Ireland’s premier exorcist.
Fr. Stafford has confessed his phone is always hopping with requests in the run up to Halloween from concerned families who have visited Loftus Hall and are now looking to rid their child or relative of a demon which has taken hold of their body, carrying out as many as 5 exorcisms a night.
“I always warn people, if you go to this haunted house you have to prepare for the fact you might end up scuttling down that famous staircase on all fours with your head constantly turning at a 360 degree angle, vomiting green bile like a mad yoke,” Fr. Stafford shared now casually throwing holy water over a pensioner and screaming “the power of Christ compels you”.
“This poor love here, she brought her grandkids to Loftus Hall thinking it’d be a grand day out for them, but sure isn’t she up on the ceiling now with a face like demonic thunder – talking about opening a portal to Hell, she’ll be fierce embarrassed now once the exorcism is over, but we’ll have a laugh about it at confession on Sunday”.
While Fr. Stafford typically charges €100 for an exorcism, he insists he’s not in it for money and would consider a 2-for-1 offer if you happen to have twins and they are dressed in identical clothing.
“But sure look, with the ever increasing numbers entering that house its almost as if they want to get possessed, which does mean I have to keep my Latin skills on point ; chatting to people who have been possessed by a demon, although sometimes they do be speaking it backwards and in a very deep voice so you really have to listen carefully”.