Man Pretending To Enjoy Alcohol To Fit In Like Some Insecure Teenager

Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share
SHARES

ONE LOCAL adult male has failed to shake off the insecurity which governs his fear of being judged and singled out when it comes to alcohol consumption and therefore has decided to continue ‘loving’ the substance along with his friends on nights out, WWN can reveal.

“Ah fuckin’ love the pints so I do,” confrimed Andrew Cloggan (28) to friends in the middle of a session he vowed he wouldn’t go out on because he dislikes alcohol and the effect it has on him immensely.

Presenting himself with only one illogical alternative option to just saying ‘no’ to drinking to excess with excitable and pressure weilding friends, Cloggan has adopted a weak persona similar to that of an easily influenced teenager who just wants to fit in.

Cloggan has found over time that fear of being judged by peers and not being accepted can be paired nicely with saying ‘yes’ to rounds of shots, sneaky naggins and other session based activities that he truly hates.

“Jesus, I couldn’t say I don’t like the stuff, that’s fuckin’ nuts. Imagine the stick I’d get. No, no, better to just go along with it for the next 40 years until I die of cirrhosis of the liver. Sure, when I’m dead I won’t have to give into peer pressure anymore,” Cloggan said, reassuring himself.

Do you suffer in silence like Mr. Cloggan? Don’t worry, thanks to the rise in craft beers, gin cocktails and a resurgence in whiskey there’s never been a more diverse selection of alcohol to agree to drinking instead of just admitting you don’t want to.

ONE MORE THING: Like what WWN does and think Satire (known in Ireland as 'taking the piss') is worth supporting as we face the threat of legal action, the permanently offended and 'Big Tech'?

We're not arrogant enough to think we make the world a better place (that's the job of megalomaniacal dictators) but a small contribution of €5/$5 a month from readers can enable us to keep doing what we're doing, and what's more is we'll give exclusive bonus content and offers to our supporters.

WWN's least favourite phrase in the English language is 'they only love you when you're gone' so help keep us going if you can.

Signing up is easy and done HERE.
Comments ( 1 )
Share what you think.
Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share