PARENTING is tough. This observation will come as no surprise to parents, both new and old but it takes a brave parent to admit when they’re a little lost and in need of advice.
No matter how seemingly silly or obvious a question or answer appears, WWN Parenting has taken the time out to answer all our readers’ parenting queries below.
You asked and we answered and thus parenting became that little less daunting and more enjoyable:
Q) “Should I still be breastfeeding my 27-year-old son?” Brenda, 55.
A) Milk is fucking delicious Brenda, as everyone is all too aware. And climate change is the real deal. So by continuing to offer your 27-year-old son milk, you are reducing your own carbon footprint as we know the Co2 emissions ground out by the effort it takes for the diary industry to get cow’s milk from the farm to our fridge is a real problem.
While it’s highly, highly unlikely but as long as the relationship with your 27-year-old adult son has no evidence of any unhealthy rituals or habits then what deep seethed regressive behaviours could you be maintaining by letting him suckle on up? It’s harmless.
Q) “My teenage daughter’s a real fucking bitch. Help.” Martin, 37.
A) Now, now Martin. It sounds like your falling into a damaging patriarchal view of femininity and how women navigate their emergence into puberty and the sort of emotional and physical changes that hormones can manifest.
Come on Martin, you’re better than that sexist vitriol you sent into us. Think about it, why did you rush to call her a bitch? Unconscious sexism is damaging to your daughter.
You could have easily said ‘she’s a real fucking bastard’ or prick, wanker or cock. But you let sexist parenting get in the way. Shame on you.
Q) “My toddler won’t stop eating Playdoh, what can I do?” Anna, 26.
A) C’mon Anna who’s the child and who’s the adult? Shit in the Playdoh container and show your wee one you’re not fucking about.
Q) “It’s hard to get my baby to settle. We’ve tried everything. Help” Hannah, 31.
A) Check your receipt and see what the returns and exchange policy is.
Q) “My child is screaming at me, I’m convinced he’s hidden my glasses on me too and now the cheeky brat is saying ‘stop calling me ‘Declan’, that’s not my name. I want my mommy’. He’s driving me up the wall” Caroline, 39.
Caroline, could you have mistakenly wandered into the neighbour’s house by accident? The Drurys? And are you currently freaking out their youngest Conor? We told you that you should have got that laser eye surgery done last year but you wouldn’t listen.