Stormzy Weather Warning Issued For Glastonbury


METEOROLOGISTS have administered a Stormzy weather warning for the Glastonbury music festival, with the BBC set to transmit pictures of the rare phenomenon experts say will occur at 22.15pm tonight and cause posh people to feel uncomfortable.

It had been predicted the area would experience showers of banger after banger over the weekend, but political weather experts have expressed concern about the outspoken nature of a Stormzy and the sort of flood it could spark.

Conditions associated with a Stormzy include raining down uncomfrtable truths, calling out inequality and the class divide, and most terrifyingly of all praising Jeremy Corbyn.

“A massive audience live on the BBC. The children of middle class parents in the audience. Jesus he’s not going to call us out again over Grenfell on live TV isn’t he? The risk of thunderous chants of ‘Fuck the government and fuck Boris’ remain high,” explained a worried looking Head of Weathering Storms at the Tory Party, who safe to say is doing a rubbish job of late.

Usually adept at restricting such weather patterns from gaining screen time and making life difficult for genuinely important people, media outlets will unusually have their lens trained on the epicentre of the predicted Stormzy event; the Pyramid stage.

Those wishing to observe the unique event have been warned of other adverse conditions such as having to wade through muck such as George Ezra, Sheryl Crow and Bastille before Stormzy hits.

In other news, 2019 marks the first year Glastonbury has banned single use plastics onsite presumably completely off-setting the carbon emissions generated by a 135,000 person strong large-scale festival.