New Incompetent Central Bank Chief Going To Fit In Just Fine


THE new incoming governor of the Central Bank, Gabriel Makhlouf, is expected to fit right into the Irish financial sector after he was found to be incompetent on a number of occasions in his previous job as New Zealand Treasury Secretary, WWN can happily confirm.

Mr. Makhlouf’s appointment to the role was announced by the Irish Government last month, stating he was a candidate of international calibre. This statement sits in stark contrast with a poorly managed incident in his previous role as Treasury Secretary that saw budget details accidentally posted on the department’s website, something Makhlouf blamed on ‘hackers’ before it subsequently emerged it was done by his own department, information he knew when making his baseless claim.

“With that kind of attitude, he’s going to fit right in here,” insisted Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe, “so-much-so that I’m in the middle of handing all powers to punish Irish bankers for malpractice into his capable hands.

“Yes, that’s right, no longer will the Irish Government be able to legally pursue bankers in the courts anymore thanks to my decision, I’m giving that job now to the new Central Bank governor and I’m sure everything will be just fine from here on in”.

New Zealand’s State Services Commission (SSC), the country’s public service watchdog, said it would be meaningless to punish Makhlouf for his misconduct when he was leaving for such a fitting role for him in Ireland.

“Well, if he’s going to work in the Irish banking system then that’s fine,” SSC chief Peter Hughes said. “He won’t need many morals working there”.