Last Ever Palestinian Killed Overnight


THE United Nations has confirmed the death of the last known living Palestinian in Gaza yesterday evening following an Israeli airstrike which obliterated their home, leaving the once sovereign state now extinct and erased from existence.

The remains of 23-year-old Jamal Hasan al-Louh was found by Israeli construction workers who were already busy removing the rubble to make way for a Jewish settlement, confirming an end to the ongoing conflict which has lasted over 70 years.

“They left the place in a right mess altogether,” one Israeli construction worker commented, bulldozing what was once a library off the street to make way for US town planners and surveyors drafted in to rebuild the region, “you should see the state of their schools and hospitals, how they lasted this long is beyond me… we’ll have this place spic and span in no time – you won’t even know there was once 2 million Arabs living here”.

Dumping Mr. Hasan al-Louh’s lifeless body into a skip due to no other Palestinians being around to bury him, those in attendance admitted to being aware of an eerie calm falling over the once flourishing state, likening it to something from World War II, but couldn’t be sure as to what.

“There’s a strange presence around the place, like something very awful happened here, something inhumane that should never happen again,” said one Israeli spokesman, almost sentimental, “I can’t quite put my finger on it, or find the right thing to compare it to, but one thing’s for certain; Gaza will make a great shopping district in the years to come”.