Multi-Million Euro Cock Up As Longford Builders Construct Off-Centre Parcs

DISASTROUS scenes were witnessed at a routine site visit of Longford’s new premier tourist destination as local builders have accidentally constructed a completely off-centre parcs, which will result in delays costing millions of euro.

“Look there, I just followed the fucking plans,” shouted one hard-hatted man, surrounded by a number of furious looking people in suits, as he pointed at plans marked Longford Centre Parcs.

“Ah shit, I see my mistake now,” reasoned the builder as he rubbed away chocolate biscuit stains which had unwittingly become smudged into the plans, disastrously altering them.

As multiple pairs of eyes stared disbelievingly at the braces, brackets and balusters placed askew by millimetres and metres, roofs put in upside down and swimming pools sticking out of the ground at 90 degree angles the reality of how big a cock up this was began to set in.

“Jesus, it’s a mess. Maybe we could salvage it by pretending it’s meant to look like that,” reasoned one quantity surveyor who’s head was now buried in his hands.

“It doesn’t look…that different really, the ergomonics of it will be a bit off I guess,” said one project manager before bursting into tears, knowing today was their last ever day onsite.

“It looks like Salvador Dali took a giant shit on Longford. We’re ruined,” confirmed an Off-Centre Parcs official who could at least take some solace in the fact this wasn’t as bad as the National Children’s Hospital debacle.