Accelerating At A Motorist Trying To Pull Out Onto The Road, A Guide


SOME drivers believe they can just calmly pull out onto a street or road without any permission from approaching motorists and expect not to be accelerated at, well, WWN is here to counteract this terrible assumption with some neat acceleration tips to frighten the absolute shite out of them.

Expensive cars that are better than yours are the biggest culprits for pulling out from car spaces and expecting to join your traffic queue, so always make sure to never, ever let those bastards pull out, despite how far away and safe a distance they may be from your car.

If you have to, break the local 50kmph speed limit and force your fellow motorist to double think their manoeuvre; you’re in charge here and you’ll decide whether they can or cannot enter the current traffic flow.

Always have your index finger on the headlights while you’re accelerating just in case they are going to double bluff your obvious acceleration. Yes, you were at a safe distance initially for them to pull out, but that’s not the point, now that you’ve accelerated you’re not, so they’re wrong and should in no way have called your bluff. Cheeky bastards.

If they persist despite your threatening attempt, make sure to have your foot ready for an overly dramatic break. Practice your ‘ah for fuck sake face’ in the mirror if you have to. Throw your two hands in the air for effect. That’s it, show them how angry you are for adding 0.007 of a second to your journey time. Pricks.

If all that fails and they’ve managed to squeeze out in front of you, make sure to stare at them angrily in their rearview mirror while tailgating them for the remainder of their time in front of you – this will make sure they will never pull out onto the road or street without your permission, ever again.

Repeat every time.