Local Boyfriend Taking Ages To Get Ready


LONG SUFFERING girlfriend Andrea Hines is having her patience sorely tested this evening by her boyfriend Ciaran Connell, WWN can reveal.

Ciaran’s habit of uttering the phrase ‘yeah, be ready in five minutes’ is putting the couple at risk of starting their weekend off with an argument as Hines fears a repeat of a recent infuriating pattern.

“Fuck sake,” Andrea muttered under her breath, car keys in hand, coat on, hovering at the front door ready to leave.

“We’ve to be at the restaurant 20 minutes ago, it’s a surprise party for Martin. The idea is to get there before him,” Andrea shouted up to Ciaran, but her voiced was heavy with resignation.

Despite repeated assurances starting over 90 minutes ago that he would be ready in five minutes, was Andrea to go upstairs to the bedroom the couple share, she would find her partner speed drying his body with a towel. Experts speculate he is as many as 25 minutes away from being ready.

“He’s still got to choose between his 5 aftershaves, and then there’s the 10 minutes alotted for the just pulling at his face and wondering when he got so old. Then there’s the 7 minutes of stealing all of Andrea’s anti-aging creams,” explained Night Out Preparation expert Yvonne Clancy.

“I don’t want to call this one too early, but I think we’re entering the phone ahead and tell people to order dinner without them territory”.

Consigned to her fate, and finally making peace with the fact she’s going out with someone who is incapable of being on time for things, Andrea took her coat off, sat down on the couch, flicked on the TV and began rehearsing the argument she would have with Ciaran in her head.