Guide To The Perfect Romantic Candlelit Wank

FOR THE DAY that’s in it here is the WWN Self Care team’s irrefutably romantic guide to todger tugging or clit caressing.

People like to be cynical about Valentine’s Day but it does offer many an opportunity to pause and reflect on their love life, and why not slow down the busy pace of life today to collect yourself, and realise that you deserve a little romance in your life.

Specifically giving yourself a romantic candlelit wank.

Ambience

Stick on some Michael Bublé, draw yourself a nice hot bath. And light the flame of your Take It To Funkytown scented Yankee Candle (retails at around €14.99 but it’s worth it. You’re worth it.)

The necessities

Some lube. Flavoured lube if you’re freaky (we don’t judge).

An extension cord so that your laptop reaches all the way to the chair strategically placed alongside the bath. Some people prefer watching Pornhub on their phones, but you don’t want your me time interrupted and thrown off course by a Valentine’s Day text from your Mam telling you she loves you while you’re trying your best to concentrate an interracial gang bang.

A trail of rose petals from your bedroom to the bath should help you feel wanted, desired, ‘enough’.

Crank up the Bublé

We’re not fucking around here, stick Mickey Bubs up to full volume and let that velvet voice do its thing.

More candles

We know we said just the one would do, but come on, it’s Valentine’s Day, go all out.

Other Yankee Candle scents include Wanking For One, Freshly Baked Cookies and That Aftershave Your Man Was Wearing On The Bus Last Week That Unlocked Something Primal In You. Mix and match your scents, this is meant to be fun.

Tug, flick, squeeze, slap, twist, shout words of encouragement

Play with yourself like it’s a game of extreme Bop It on speed.

Bliss

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, from you.