Azealia Banks Applies For Bailout


UNDER-FIRE US Rapper Azealia Banks has arrived in Dublin without a care in the world following her insulting remarks about the beauty standards of Irish women, insisting that she’s just going to get ‘one of those Banks bailouts that Irish people are so fond of”.

An irate Banks came under fire after posting angry videos to her social media feeds following an altercation with Aer Lingus staff, in which she described Irish women as ‘ugly’, and criticised the airline for their treatment of her.

Rumours about how the crowd at her Academy gig would react to the singer and soap mogul’s hurtful claims were dismissed by Banks’ PR team, who stated that they’re just going to do what every other bank did in Ireland, and get away scot free.

“Ireland has a long history of being insulted by banks, and just paying up anyway,” said a member of Azealia’s PR team, making their way across the Irish sea on a dinghy.

“So we don’t see why there’s any difference here. Ms. Banks called Irish women ugly – and I’d like to back her up on that, you’ve got some real howlers on your team, but her gig is going ahead in the Academy and we expect everyone to just show up anyway. Good Irish people, just do what you’re told, just like when you bailed out all those bondholders, that’s the Irish way”.

Doors for the gig open at 7, and punters are advised to be on time to avoid getting further insults hurled their way.