Everything You Need To Know About Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez


OCASIO-CORTEZ is the recently elected American congresswoman the media can’t help but talk about. A Democrat, but does not kowtow to the crusty centre-right big whigs of her party, she’s gaining new fans and detractors with each passing minute.

Here’s everything you need to know about Alexandria Ocasio Cortez:

She is the youngest woman to serve in the United States Congress and sleeps draped in a Soviet Russia flag.

The 29-year-old is the heir to the Irish watch-making brand O’Casio.

Before becoming a congresswoman she undermined the fabric of Western democracy by dancing.

Cortez has called for a possible 70% tax on income over $10 million, causing many middle-aged people earning under $100,000 to have fatal heart attacks upon learning of her proposals.

Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez is an anagram of ‘Kill Whitey, Send Everyone To A Gulag’.

Is fallible.

Prolonged exposure to Ocasio-Cortez has been proven to make the women in your life hopeful, and in some very worrying instances, confident in their own opinions.

Ocasio-Cortez is not well versed in Middle Eastern politics.

Despite claiming to advocate for the poor, Ocasio-Cortez hypocritically earns money.

According to your irate uncle Ocasio-Cortez is one of those “namby pamby leftie weftie taxy waxy gendery bendery feminist wheminists”.