Hurling Thinks It’s Great Now

HURLING AND CAMOGIE have been formally added to UNESCO’s list of protected cultural activities, an act which has seen the sport, among the oldest in world, think it’s just great now altogether.

The chest-beating levels of patriotism the sport often elicits on All Ireland final day is set to quadruple now off the back of UNESCO’s decision which has been criticised by other sports.

“Christ, we’ll never hear the bleedin’ end of this,” confirmed Irish soccer fans, who according to hurling fanatics are located solely in Dublin’s north inner city and have no appreciation for centuries old traditions forged directly from the blood and bones of our ancestors.

“Alright, calm down I didn’t say I didn’t like hurling,” added the soccer fan, with not an ounce of appreciation for this sacred land and its sacred sport which bonds us directly to our ancestors, our past generations, our sense of purpose as a proud nation with its own native culture.

Hurling is set to spend the day swanning around, acting like it owns the place with the sort of inflated ego normally reversed for when an American comments ‘OMG what the fuck is this? This sport is mental!’ under a YouTube video of hurling.

“What’s a UNESCO world heritage thingy anyway? Never heard of it,” confirmed Irish rugby fans, who presumably just want the English to waltz back in here and return to their land owning, plantation glory days, snuffing out our proud history in the process.

“No one ever asks for our opinion,” chimed in a badminton fan nobody was listening to.

Elsewhere, Tourism Ireland has performed a targeted leaflet drop on American cities, detailing the news along with Irish flight info and 10% visits to the GAA museum.