David Soul Shot By Dublin Gang

ICONIC 70’s actor and singer David Soul is today battling for his life in intensive care after becoming the latest innocent victim of gun violence in Dublin following yet another gangland shooting in the city last night. Soul, 75, was known to Gardai.

“Yeah, of course we know him, sure we all love Don’t Give Up On Us Baby,” said one officer on the scene, who got a selfie with Soul before he was bundled into an Ambulance.

“And that old cop show he was on in the 70s. Big fans, all of us. Anyways, anyone with information, please come forward, you know the deal by now”.

With Dublin drug gangs now targeting anybody who they even think has the slightest link to their rivals with impunity, horrified onlookers have questioned where the violence will end.

“I used to think that sure look, it’s gangsters killing gangsters, sure leave them at it,” said one horrified onlooker, horrified at that which he had just looked on upon.

“But now, these lads are basically going through the phone book looking for people to shoot. Like, David Soul? How could you possibly link him to the criminal underworld in Dublin?”.

The getaway car used in the shooting of David Soul was later found burned out on the outskirts of town, where Gardai believe the drivers had to wait over an hour in a queue of getaway cars containing other gangland assassins, who were also waiting to dispose of their vehicles.