Local Alcoholic Installs Bottle Bin Outside Home


SICK to death of loading the boot of his car with bags of bottles every few days, one Waterford man has taken recycling to a whole new level by installing his own dedicated bottle bin outside his home.

Self-confessed functioning alcoholic Martin Croke said the new brown bottle bin will take all the hassle and shame out of his life by not having to travel 10km every time he wants to ‘dump the evidence’.

“I picked the brown bottle bin as I always drink the same German wheat beer,” Croke began, proudly emptying last night’s deposits before revealing some recycling insider information, “not that seperating the coloured bottles matters, as the collection truck empties all the different coloured bottles into the same trailer anyway “.

“There’s nothing worse than the shame of driving up to a bottle bin with a car boot full of bottles to see some smug prick who knows you with a small box of 4 empty long necks. At least now I can just recycle in peace without being judged by my peers”.

Mr. Croke is the first person in Ireland to install his own dedicated bottle bin outside his home, raising calls for waste management providers to implement their own bottle wheelie bins.

“I’d fill this baby up every two weeks,” Croke explained the sheer volume of his drinking. “It’s a lot of beer, but I’m saving a fortune on petrol”.

Despite owning his own bottle bin, the son of two still manages to leave empty boxes and plastic bags beside the skip”.

“Old habits die hard,” Croke concluded.