Housing Minister Still Not Sure How To Count Houses


THE GENERAL PUBLIC has once again placed its head in its hands in frustration after it became clear minister for housing Eoghan Murphy was still struggling to grasp the idea and concepts behind correctly counting the number of houses being built currently in Ireland.

This latest ‘oopsy daisy’ comes hot on the heels of the Fine Gael TD failing to grapple with correctly counting the number of homeless people in Ireland despite continued efforts by experts in the field to help with the verification.

As CSO figures asserted earlier this year that new build housing figures in 2017 were over estimated by as much as 60%, experts continue to spell out to the minister the correct way to monitor figures but to no avail.

“Eoghan, Eoghan listen. No, it’s no good he’s drifted off again,” confirmed one property expert who wasn’t just trying to make as much money as possible at the expense of everyone else.

“The latest figures are up Eoghan, but, hello, Eoghan, but a slight increase doesn’t equal ‘problem solved I am the Messiah’ okay? No, he’s gone again,” the expert confirmed staring at Murphy who’s eyes glaze over once stats can’t be spun into something positive for his party.

Leading experts suggest that when it’s projected Ireland needs 480,000 new homes built by 2031, 40,000 for this year alone that by building about 25% of that target will not solve any problem.

“Yay! We’ve done it, we’ve solved the housing crisis which isn’t a crisis as there’s no homeless people according to new figures,” Murphy said staring vacantly into the distance.