Increasing Number Of Irish Mothers Can’t Make Head Nor Tail Of It


A WORRYING increase in the number of Irish mothers who can’t make head nor tail of it shows no signs of slowing, according to the latest statistics from the Irish Institute for Irish Studies.

When it comes to setting something to record on the TV box, fixing the dodgy dishwasher, tackling the great unknowns of quantum psychics or simply trying to make sense of some horrible goings on in the world today, Irish mothers continue in their failure to vocalise their comprehension of these matters.

“Mam was just shaking her head their yesterday out in the back garden,” explained concerned daughter Ciara Shalley, “the bird feeder had fallen off the tree and she was very clear on the fact she couldn’t make head nor tail of how it happened, but not just with that, it’s with almost everything”.

Instances of a failure to make head nor tail of it, both big and small are at their highest since 1988, sparking concern among Irish mothers themselves.

“That can’t be right, no, but how?” queried one mother, Dierdre Kelly, who assembled neither a head or a tail when seeking to grasp the nub of the issue.

Seeking to provide all the materials for producing head and tail, a spokesperson for the IIIS explained the troubling news.

“We’re at 83% in terms of the amounts of mothers who can’t make head nor tail of it, it’s an all time high, these mothers seem to be in a constant state of confused consternation, especially when Irish society tries to place them in some sort of doe-eyed infantilising stereotype,” explained Dr. Peter Lally, one of 100% of Irish fathers who falsely claim ‘I understand it alright, you don’t have to talk to me like I’m some clueless eejit’.