“It’s Almost To The Point Where You Can’t Tell A Woman You’d Love To Ride The Hole Off Her”


FEARS are growing in the male sector that political correctness has gotten to the point where it’s considered an offence to yell out your thoughts about a woman’s physical attractiveness or lack thereof as she walks past you on the street, WWN has learned.

Men who for years made a name for themselves as ‘gas bastards’ are now looking for new outlets for their sexual outbursts, now that the #metoo movement has robbed women across the country of their ‘sense of humour’ and their ability to be degraded in public and just walk on.

“I remember a time when you could be waiting for a bus with your pal and a woman would walk by and you could say ‘jaysus, wouldn’t you love to knock the hole off her?’ without people thinking you were a prick” said Michael Sheerin, who has had to cut down his catcalling by 95%  in recent months.

“Like, it’s a fuckin’ joke at this stage. What are men supposed to do now when a fine looking woman walks by? Just say nothing? And even if she’s not conventionally attractive… are we supposed to not mention how we’d do her anyway if we had a few pints on board? That’s an unacceptable double-standard right there. How are men like me supposed to feel good about themselves at all?”

Men are being advised that catcalling of any sort is inappropriate, even if they apply the ‘ah here love I was only messin’, would you relax?’ defence immediately afterwards.