Delivery Guy Always Looks Like He’s About To Cry


WATERFORD based take-away delivery man Declan Dennings rarely has a smile on his face, whether he’s delivering quarter-pounders and onion rings to hungover people on a Saturday morning, or piles of pizza to couples watching X-Factor on Saturday night.

“It’s takeaway and a few cans time everywhere, except in his heart” said one customer, plating up a chow mein as a dour-looking Jennings got back into his Starlet and fucked off.

“I wasn’t sure if I had to tip him or not, so I erred on the side of caution and just didn’t”, said another take-away aficionado, eating a big burrito that wasn’t as good as he’d hoped it would be.

Dennings, 27 or maybe 36, it’s hard to tell, supplements his evening income as a delivery driver with his daytime job as a delivery cyclist, where often he can be seen on the streets of Waterford with a big huge cube on his back, getting beeped at by taxi drivers to get the fuck out of the way.

“Cheer the fuck up pal” yelled one motorist, pulling around Dennings who was just staring into space despite the fact the light had turned green.

“At least you have a job, look on the bright side”.

Meanwhile Dennings spends his one day off, Tuesday when there’s nobody around and fuck all to do, at group meetings with his fellow delivery drivers, trading stories about how much it fucking sucks to be a delivery driver and just letting it all out.