World Begs Stormy Daniels To Stay Quiet


ADULT actress and former Donald Trump sex partner Stormy Daniels has been implored to keep further details of her affair with the president to herself, following her disturbing revelations about the size and shape of Trump’s penis.

Daniels is currently revealing excerpts from her upcoming tell-all book about her tryst with Trump, including the fact that his erect penis looks not unlike a broad-headed mushroom, an image that has so far driven thousands of people into pure catatonic disgust.

As such, the world is begging Miss Daniels to reveal no further details about Trump, adding that ‘we’ll take your word for it, love’.

“There are some images that can break the human mind, and a sweaty, orgasming Donald Trump is one of them” said a spokesperson for the Association of Common Sense And Decency.

“Stormy, we believe you when you say you had an affair with Trump while his wife was heavily pregnant. We really do. We believed you the first time you told us. But honestly, no more. We cannot allow a description of Trump’s ballsack to become public knowledge. We can imagine what it looks like, and it’s already horrific. We don’t need further confirmation”.

Meanwhile, Trump has spent the last day tweeting about how some mushrooms are really big, way bigger than a courgette, for example.