Man’s Family Tree Full Of Cousins Who Married


A LOCAL WATERFORD man seeking to study his family tree has discovered that far too many of his ancestors who married, were in fact cousins.

Conall O’Rafferty discovered that if he traced his lineage far enough back it would become clear to him that both sides of his father’s family tree were exclusively O’Raffertys, owing to the fact cousins indulged in outdated stereotypes certain parts of rural Ireland are famous for.

“I suppose it would explain why I have such a big head or why my kids are so thick,” Conall shared, regretting his decision to go all Who Do You Think You Are? on his family tree.

Now extremely paranoid, Conall stated he would seek to quadruple check his wife’s DNA for fear it would come back more or less identical to his.

“Jesus, talk about being a culchie cliche,” a shocked and slightly annoyed Conall added, who apparently comes from a long line of hill people who used to survive on eating squirrel.

The Waterford man, who was only now coming to realise the fact he has a 6th finger and toe on his right side may be linked to the high number of cousins further back in his family tree riding like absolute rabbits.

“I wish I could say this was a rare example of an incestuously tangled family tree, but honestly, I advise the public to refrain from checking out their family tree, it’ll only upset you finding out your mam is your dad’s sister,” confirmed genealogist Dr. Maureen Hurley.