Property Developers Have Multiple Orgasms During Land Development Agency Announcement
AN OFFICIAL launch of the government’s new Land Development Agency, which would see €1.25 billion spent on handing developers contracts to build homes on State lands, had to be abandoned when a number of property developers began experiencing earth-shattering orgasms.
“I was just taking notes on the finer details of the LDA when I heard this horrendous wave of screeches of pleasure,” one journalist covering the launch told WWN.
“I turned around there they were – 20 developers on the floor shaking uncontrollably, their pants soiled with ejaculate, barely able to function after what must have been the most visceral orgasm experienced by anyone, ever,” added the journalist, still visibly disturbed by the occurrence.
It is believed the news that they would be handed €1.25 billion to build on State lands, prompted unscrupulous developers to become aroused, before they edged closer to mind-blowing orgasms after realising that this is the same government that set up Irish Water therefore the possibility of running rings around the LDA and making a killing was all but guaranteed.
“Normally after orgasm, a refractory period is needed before someone can become aroused and ejaculate again, but in this case they just kept orgasming. It became so loud it drowned out the news that the Minister for Housing thinks affordable housing means €320,000,” added another attendee.
“First NAMA, and now this, you are too kind,” one developer shared with the Government in a brief respite in between orgasms.
Once fully recovered from the news they will get to take the piss of the Irish people once more, property developers were later seen laughing all the way to the bank.
No date has been put in place yet for what will one day be the long overdue inquiry into the corruption of the LDA.