Revealed: The Rock That Sean Gallagher Climbed Out From Under


FOLLOWING a hiatus from the public eye welcomed by the public, businessman and Dragons’ Den person from ten years ago, Sean Gallagher, has confirmed he will seek a nomination to run for president of Ireland, again, for reasons yet unclear, WWN can confirm.

After weeks of speculation by a handful of people who cared enough to ask, the muddied 56-year-old was spotted slithering through a Cavan field towards members of the Irish press, who were waiting at a gate, where he then announced his bid for presidency.

“You better treat me right this time,” Gallagher pointed to an RTÉ reporter, now wiping sods of mud from his flawless bald head, “last time I ran, I was targeted by the media and that was the only thing that stopped me from winning, the only thing! So it better not happen again or there will be war”.

Retracing the furrow his body etched in the field, several uninterested reporters left the complaining Mr. Gallagher at the gate, while they investigated the rather large rock he crawled out from under.

“We found several burned DVDs of Dragons’ Den episodes from 2008 and a Politics for Dummies book,” confirmed one journalist, who was just glad to be away from Gallagher, “there was also a substantial cheque from RTÉ that hasn’t been cashed yet, so we’re assuming it will be used to fund his campaign, unfortunately. So yeah, it really does look like he’s running”.

Upon further study, it is believed Mr. Gallagher has been hibernating under the rock for quite some time, hinting that he may run again in another 7 years if he doesn’t succeed, again.

“The worry now is that Sean could keep trying to win the presidency and that hiding under the rock may be re-energising his ego somehow,” explained one expert on hiding under rocks, “he’s like an Irish version of Hillary Clinton – he just doesn’t get the hint”.