Irish Women Failing To Live Up To Molly Malone Bust Standards


A RECENT study has shown that when being directly compared to the bronzed ample assets of sweet Molly Malone, the vast majority of Irish women are failing to live up to the high standards set.

Malone, and her great big breasts, have long been the barometer by which the leading scientific minds have judged the success of Irish women and this latest study conducted by TCD proves unequivocally that Malone remains the unmatched pinnacle of the Irish feminine ideal.

“Our study consisted largely of staring at Molly Malone and getting lost her in the gaze of her, sweet, juicy…eyes,” confirmed one researcher, who’ll be on the dole in no time if he keeps this up.

“She doesn’t talk back to you and she looks great and statuesque in a busty dress. We couldn’t ask more of an Irish woman, we feel the basic standards are achievable and yet so many women insist on being more than these ideals. It’s really starting to annoy me actually,” confirmed another researcher.

The consistent comparison to Malone has been labeled as ‘idiotic’ and ‘unhelpful’ by 100% of Irish women surveyed, however, these sentiments have been dismissed by many level-headed men.

“That’s exactly what a jealous woman whose chest doesn’t shine like brass when the sun is out would say,” one long time Malone fan shared with WWN.