Black & Tans Finally Come Out To Fight


THE remaining members of the notorious 1919 Royal Irish Constabulary Special Reserve have finally stepped up to the challenge of unarmed combat after decades of being goaded in song to ‘come out and fight like men’.

The RICSR, better known as the ‘Black And Tans’, wreaked havoc when they were brought to Ireland to help local RIC officers quell civilian unrest in the aftermath of the 1916 Rising and the then ongoing War of Independence, which they did with ruthless and fearsome efficiency.

Although disbanded in 1922, the Black & Tans have been called out for fights in recent decades thanks to the popularity of a Wolfe Tones song among public house Republicans and general loudmouths, who tend to sing the song at the top of their lungs to prove their patriotism after several pints.

Having had enough, the 30 or so remaining Black & Tans, now well in their 120s, have decided ‘enough is enough’ and will gladly face off against anyone who wants to see how they ‘won medals in Flanders’.

“The Republicans we fought in Dublin nearly a hundred years ago were a serious tough shower of bastards” said one Black & Tan, ironing his uniform for one last fight.

“But these days, all you get is these lads whose Republicanism goes as far as singing ‘ooh ah up the Ra’ in the pub, despite the fact that they’ve never been north of Balbriggan in their fucking lives. So yeah, you want to fight a Black & Tan? Let’s be having you, you little shits”.

Although still prepared to fight, the Black & Tan force have taken their advancing years into consideration, and have renamed themselves the Grey & Tans.