McDonald Lifts Book Off Shelf & Discovers Secret Underground IRA Cave
REPORTS coming into WWN suggest Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald has discovered an underground Republican cave on par with any cave seen in the Batman movie franchise.
Having been installed a Sinn Féin leader for a few months now, a curious Mary Lou McDonald took to more closely examining her new office, most recently occupied by former long standing leader of her party, Gerry Adam.
Running her finger along a book shelf which had gathered dust, she watched as the discarded dust danced freely in the air before noticing the complete absence of dust beside an old leather bound book titled ‘Completely Not Suspicious. Just Normal Sinn Féin Stuff, Do Not Touch’.
Unable to resist the urge, the SF leader slipped the book free from the shelf, which, to her shock triggered a tremendous sound, seeing the book shelf sink into a secret compartment revealing steps down to a secret underground cave.
Using the light on her iPhone, McDonald carefully made her way down the steps to the cave with each flash of light revealing a treasure trove of modern Republican technology, state of the art Balaclava technology and a well meaning and supportive butler named Old Fred.
“We’ve been waiting for you for some time McDonald,” said a booming voice in the distant darkness, identified only by the flash of his beaming white teeth.
It is believed McDonald, although awe struck by what she found, will need some time to comes to terms with what her new role entails.
“We call this the Republicanmobile,” Old Fred said while pulling a sheet off a car to reveal a 1991 Opel Corsa.