US President Being Sued By Pornstar Somehow Not Craziest Thing In World Right Now


THE news that an adult actress is suing the president of the United States of America for defamation of character has struggled to crack the list of top ten trending news stories today, with the vast majority of people now in full acceptance that this kind of thing is just par for the course these days.

The news that Stormy Daniels allegedly had a torrid affair with Donald Trump in 2013 and then received a $130,000 ‘hush money’ payment in the days leading up to the 2016 US presidential election is cited as being a ‘turning point’ for many people, and anything that has come out about the matter in the weeks since has been met with shrugs and sighs instead of actual shock or horror.

With Daniels now suing the president of the free world over defamatory tweets he sent on the matter in April, the entire media industry has pretty much agreed to ‘wrap things up’ on the subject, with declining readership and online figures proving that people are just way too jaded to even begin to give a shit at this stage.

“Stormy Daniels could show up dead in a drain with a clump of golden hair in her hand tomorrow morning and it wouldn’t get as much notice as Beyoncé’s new shoes” sighed one reporter, looking around for something that is the definition of ‘newsworthy’ these days.

“There was a time when a pornstar suing the office of the White House would have been a scandal. Now, it’s just a page seven space filler. People have just fully accepted that this is ‘Trump’s America’. They haven’t got any interest, any more than they would have in a wedding episode of The Bold & The Beautiful”.

In other news, Trump’s twitter feed has been voted the news outlet of choice by a worrying amount of people.