Short Illness Cure Finally Discovered


RESEARCHERS at Trinity College Dublin have announced a major breakthrough in treating one of the worlds most common killers, the ‘short illness’, WWN can confirm.

Hundreds of millions of people die every year due to a short illness, with doctors hailing the new find as the biggest scientific breakthrough so far of the 21st century.

“We have been researching short illness for the past eleven years,” head scientist Professor Darren Rice explains, “then, last week, we discovered a drug that actually seeks out the short illness and destroys it in a matter of hours.

“This is an incredible achievement as it literally is the biggest known killer on the planet, with cancer coming only second to it in terms of mortality rates”.

Prof. Rice was today congratulated by the Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, and is now tipped to win the Nobel Prize for chemistry for his work into short illness.

“Our team will now start looking into cures for other diseases, like the lesser known ‘long illness’,” Rice added.

An estimated 34,000 people die in Ireland every year with a short illness, however, the new drug created is expected to cost anywhere in the region of €400,000 per tablet once its processed through the pharmaceutical industry.