Garda Whistleblower Inquiry Starting To Look Like A Nice Earner For Everyone


AS the inquiry into the treatment of garda whistleblowers chaired by Judge Charleton rumbles on, several people close to the Disclosures Tribunal have confirmed it’s likely to turn into a nice earner as it has the potential to drag on for some time.

With the inquiry currently looking into the complex machinations behind the choice of then Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan to instruct a legal team to question the character of Maurice McCabe, and the knowledge that the former Justice Minister and her department had of the incident, the majority of people currently earning a living working on the inquiry are fairly confident they can get a new kitchen out of this, at the very least.

“This inquiry takes in so many issues, each more complex and hard to comprehend than the last revelation, I think it’s only fair we extend this inquiry by 5 years?” said one solicitor who hadn’t thought he could afford a holiday home in Florida until very recently.

“The fact the government nearly collapsed thanks to this is probably adding a few months onto this thing, now all we have to do is take our sweet, sweet time,” added another solicitor, who was busy trawling online eBay auctions for some expensive items to bid on.

The inquiry’s purpose is to examine what the treatment of garda whistleblowers and will almost certainly deliver a final report on the matter soon if no other scandals become germane to the inquiry.

“Oh God, wouldn’t that be awful. If we had to say, call an endless parade of witnesses, to clarify minor point after minor point. That sort of thing gives me nightmares,” concluded a solicitor before making a ‘cha-ching’ noise.