Retail Worker’s Patience Worn Away To Nothing At This Stage


A RETAIL WORKER currently five hours into her 17th 10-hour shift over the last fortnight in the Dundrum Town Centre has confirmed exclusively to WWN that there is a hollow empty void where her patience once resided.

Cliona Canney, 22, explained to WWN that the endless barrage of short-tempered customers who think the world revolves around them, and who think retail staff are about as human as limescale on a toilet have effectively worn her down.

“I’ll cut a bitch,” confirmed Canney, who only 3-weeks ago resembled a well-mannered and optimistic young woman who had time, patience and compassion for every customer no matter how stupid and incoherent their request and demands turned out to be.

“If one more person walks in her looking for something a clothes shop couldn’t possibly sell in a million years, then yes, I might raise my voice above the polite tone I’ve been conditioned to use no matter what,” Canney added, stopping sort of mentioning the 72 times irate customers couldn’t fathom why a women’s clothing shop didn’t stock something called ‘a Star War’.

Canney is believed to be in the small minority of retail staff that don’t take kindly to being treated like a piece of shit by impossibly important people who are in throes of the impossibly important task of buying gifts, a task no one else as important as themselves has ever undertaken.

“We’d like to wholeheartedly apologise to any and all people who were rightly grossly offended by Cliona’s decision to refuse to just let you verbally abuse her for 20 minutes because something wasn’t in stock. We will make sure to fire her in a very public way on Christmas Eve, because it seems this is the sort of stuff that gives you pricks a real kick, Merry fucking Christmas,” read a statement from Cliona’s store manager, who also appears all out of patience.