“Honestly, I Can’t Be Fucked” Local Man Tells Work


A LOCAL WATERFORD man has informed the company he works for that he will not be attending the office premises for the remainder of this week, citing the fact ‘honestly, I can’t be fucked’, WWN can confirm.

“Honestly, I can’t be fucked,” confirmed 32-year-old Andrew Gilmartin in official communication, via his mouth, with his employer of 6 years Druid Drainage Solutions.

Andrew’s boss Cynthia O’Neill praised her employee for his frank disclosure which was delivered through a Whatsapp message at 9.01am, one full minute into his shift.

“Ah in fairness, work is shite craic,” confirmed O’Neill, who has already moved on from the incident, and has confessed to looking forward to seeing Andrew return next Monday.

“Your head does be melted sometimes, I get it. But a bit of honesty like that should be respected. I hate nothing more than eejits spluttering down the phone to me coughing away, thinking they’re more convincing than Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice,” concluded O’Neill.

‘I can’t be fucked’ a more severe condition related to ‘I can’t be arsed’ has been known to strike down employees when faced with the prospect of going into the same old job, for a boring and repetitive week of ‘the same old shit’.