“Can You Guys Not Take Care Of Donegal?” Taoiseach Asks Northern Ireland

TAOISEACH Leo Varadkar has called on Northern Ireland to take care of Donegal residents after flash floods and thunderstorms caused hundreds of thousands of euros worth of damage on Tuesday night.

About two-thirds of the average rain for August fell in just nine hours, turning roads into rivers and washing away roads and bridges in some of the worst weather the region has seen in over a century, forcing the government to peer out of their summer holidays, briefly.

In an official statement sent to Stormont this morning, the Taoiseach asked whether the British owned territory could ‘take care of Donegal for the moment’, as the Irish government is officially on a break, pointing to how close the county is to Northern Ireland anyway.

“It’s basically your side lawn,” the document read, accompanied by a diagram of the North with Donegal circled in red biro, “to be honest, we often forget Donegal is ours down here as it’s that close to you guys. Can we go splitsies, maybe? It’s an awful big area and a bit far away from Dublin for anyone down here to really care about and I kind of feel bad about the whole thing because it’s quite a disaster up there at the moment and they’re giving out like mad things”.

So far six major bridges and roads will need to be repaired, including on the busy Moville to Muff road on Inishowen, which could cost the state millions of euros to the ‘real Irish taxpayer’, a grievance outlined at the end of the Taoiseach’s letter.

“We’re looking at the damage reports here and wondering is it even worth building those bridges back up again? Let me know what ye think” the Taoiseach’s letter concluded.