Number Of Kids Sent To School With Milk In Red Lemonade Bottles Dwindling


A NEW report has found a drastic decline in the number of children being sent to school with milk in small lemonade bottles for their lunch, possibly signalling an end to nostalgic Irish  Irishness as we know it.

The report, which catalogued school children’s lunches for some reason, showed a shocking decline in the age-old life hack, which was introduced in the late 1970s by Tipperary mother Maura Hollihan.

“Times were different back then,” Hollihan begins, “we’d get the milk delivered in bottles to the door, but sure ya couldn’t expect the kids to bring a glass bottle into school, and besides, they’d never drink a whole litre”.

“So one day I decided to barely wash out a small bottle of Cadet red lemonade and put milk in it, not thinking at the time what an ingenious and very uniquely Irish idea it was,” she added, “before I knew it, it went viral and everyone started copying the idea; but it was originally me that started it”.

Not only did she develop the concept of putting milk into a used lemonade bottle, the Tipp woman is also responsible for coming up with the tin foil lunch box, soggy digestive/custard cream biscuit, and of course the lumpy butter sandwich.

“Stop it now you’re embarrassing me,” she said, almost humbly, “that tinfoil lunch idea just came out of the blue, and actually took over from the old method, which was to use the bread pan paper – which I always thought was very old fashioned at the time. And those soggy biscuits? Well, I suppose I’m just gifted”.

However, the latest report has confirmed that her lunch hacks are now old news, with only 1 out of every 20,000 culchie kids being sent to school with milk in a lemonade bottle, compared to 8 in every 10in the 1980s.

“Give me a red lemonade tasting bottle of warm milk any day” she concluded.