BREAKING: Waterford Dad Had To Light The Fire And It The Middle Of Summer
A COUNTY Waterford resident has apparently had to light the fire this evening despite it being the middle of summer, WWN can unfortunately reveal.
Sources on the ground have stated a grey plume of billowing smoke has been spotted emanating from the chimney of Dunmore man Gerry Phelan’s seaside cottage, forcing him to make an official statement to the congregated local press outside his home.
“I have the fire on and it’s nearly July,” Mr Phelan read carefully from a sheet of A4 paper, which was slowly being splattered by the drizzling rain, “you’d swear it was the middle of winter at this rate,” before adding, in a venomous tone, “Typical. Irish. Summer”.
It is understood the part-time father-of-six was lucky enough to still have a couple of firelighters and kindling left over from last winter, and managed to ignite the fire by sticking a piece of paper in the toaster.
“Jaysis, tis after getting chilly out there now; you wouldn’t think it was summer at all,” he said, referring to a three degree drop in temperature from 15 to 12 degrees, “they’re giving rain as well, I heard. You couldn’t count on it now. Imagine being a tourist coming over here to this shite”.
Once lit, the 45-year-old took to social media to upload a picture of the fire in an effort to further hammer home his point online, before proudly settling in for the evening with his now sweating family.
“Okay, it’s probably a bit too warm now in here, but it’s better to be safe than sorry,” he later concluded, now topless and opening the sitting room windows.