Liam Gallagher Swear Jar Currently Valued At £20 Million


FORMER Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher has been named as one of music’s wealthiest stars in 2017, after implementing a ‘swear-jar’ system at the start of the year which has to date accrued almost £20 million.

Headstrong former Oasis and Beady Eye singer Gallagher, who has a history of swearing like it’s about to be banned, brought in the jar system in January and pledged to put a pound in every time he said ‘fuck’, and two pounds every time he called someone ‘a useless cunt’.

Never one to hide his opinions from the public, Gallagher soon found himself pouring thousands of pounds into the jar, before having to give up and implement a larger vessel to cope with his donations.

Having filled a swimming pool of coins resembling Scrooge McDuck’s vault in just 6 months, revenue assessors totted up Gallagher’s worth and were amazed to see that the take was over £20 million.

“Fuck me, I were right fuckin’ delighted when I heard the news,” said Gallagher, throwing a fiver into the swear pot and telling it to ‘keep the fucking change’.

“Usually, you spend money, right, you don’t know where it’s going. You buy a car here, a Dairy Milk there, it all just fucking vanishes. But with the swear jar, I kept it all, didn’t I? And fuck me, it’s only 20 million fuckin’ quid, innit?”

Further questions from journalists about ‘what Noel thought about the swear jar’ have lead to Gallagher discussing his thoughts on that matter, while throwing thousands of pounds in the swear jar as he did.