Trump Promises To Revive America’s Cotton Picking Industry


PRESIDENT of the United States of America Donald Trump has vowed to revive the country’s cotton picking industry, hinting at a welfare run scheme that will enable thousands of people on welfare to “earn their cheques” by working on plantations.

Speaking at a White House press conference this afternoon, Mr. Trump outlined a detailed plan that, he said, will “make America great again by going back to the country’s roots and traditions”.

“Why the hell did we stop picking cotton?” Trump put to the bewildered press room, “we were booming in the good old days, everyone was working, producing cotton, tobacco, sugar, and then we just gave up?

“You know what? it kills me to see so many young, beautiful African Americans and Mexicans out of work, having to sell drugs on the streets. Believe me, it’s not healthy, bad for moral; just the worst! Let’s give them some real work to do. Build their confidence up again,” he continued, oblivious to the gasps from reporters.

In the new proposal, over 457,000 acres of land will be allocated in the Deep South for cotton, tobacco and sugar plantations which will be managed by designated ‘planters’, who will maintain and control the plantations with the aid of welfare recipients and offenders on parole.

Plantations are just the latest step in an effort by President Trump to revive and stimulate forgotten and neglected American industries.

“I know a few guys who would be great at running this business, real good guys, some of the best guys in the world at what they do, trust me,” Trump then concluded, before pointing to several men in the front row wearing white robes and pointy hats.