Railing Declared Perfect Place To Hang Bag Of Dog Shite


A NEW report has shed fresh light on the proper etiquette to follow when disposing of freshly scooped dog poop, clarifying that putting it in a little plastic bag and then hanging it off the nearest available railing is perfectly acceptable.

Although poop-scooping has become more and more common among dog-walkers who recognise the need to keep our parks and footpaths clear of dog shite, a lot of people are still unclear as to what to do with their still-warm bag of excrement.

With the nearest bin sometimes located over a hundred yards away, many people have been known to just stick the plastic bag onto the spike of a nearby railing and walk on, happy that they’ve fulfilled their obligations when it comes to keeping poo off the footpath.

Although many members of the public have expressed disgust at this activity, a new report has shown that this is perfectly acceptable, and isn’t the most gross thing of all time.

“The signs do say ‘keep our footpaths clean’, so we suppose they’re legally untouchable,” said one resident of a dog shit-heavy area.

“I always thought it was just the most unmannerly, lazy fucking thing to do, to hang a bag of stinking dog shit on someone’s fence, but if this new study says it’s fine, who am I to argue? I would have thought that if you’d already scooped up fresh dog shite off the ground, then carrying it to the nearest bin wouldn’t be that disgusting a notion to you, but apparently once you have it in the bag you have to get it out of your hands ASAP. Railing it is, so”.

The study also found that when no railing is available, tying the bag to a branch of a tree will suffice.