Public Sector Unions Would Also Like A Pony

PAY restorations totalling €1.4 billion are just some of the outlandish demands coming from a union representing civil servants after nearly 10 years of cuts and pay freezes according to the government, with other requests including a pony, 30 more holidays during the year, free Netflix, and Andrex toilet roll in the jacks.

The requests come as representatives seek to claw back earnings lost throughout the financial crisis that crippled the country, part of which saw the public service faced severe wage cuts in a bid to gather enough money to give to the banks.

The cuts came following a hugely effective scape-goat hunt, in which the problems facing Ireland at the time were pinned on public servants in cushy positions with huge pensions and bonus schemes, including the low-level workers who make up the bulk of the public service and who make less than those who work in McDonalds.

“Pfft, look at these greedy service fuckers, looking for money for nothing,” said Public Expenditure Minister Paschal Donohoe, making sure to get the private sector nice and angry.

“They want ordinary taxpayers like you and me to pay for their pensions and their gas bill and their car! I’ll tell you what lads, let’s all just stay nice and angry at the workers, and not pass any remarks about where the money that revenue collects actually goes. Shame on these greedy fuckers! Say it with me!”

“Shame on these greedy fuckers!”