Latest ‘Science Story’ Not Remotely Scientific Or Even A Story


REGULAR consumers of news have expressed their profound confusion and worry at the latest in a long line of science reporting, which doesn’t seem to be based on any scientific research or studies.

Citing recent stories about the correct intake of fruit and vegetables, having a large thumb, people named Steve, along with error laden articles about the TRAPPIST-1 discovery, the public has urged the majority of media outlets to leave the science coverage to ‘people who know what they’re fucking talking about’.

“You know when you read a story about Lionel Messi moving to China as part of a €33 billion transfer deal, and you know it’s utter bullshit. Well, that’s what it’s like reading some people’s attempts at reporting on science,” shared irritated final year science student Gary Ormond.

“‘These Are The Names Of People Who Are Most Likely To Get Married’, are you fucking shitting me?” another disgruntled clicker of links Aine Cullen explained to WWN, “it was based on some survey, from a company pushing some product and no way of verifying its sample size and there’s about 50 other similar stories parading themselves about as ‘science news’,” added Cullen, clearly fed up with the half-hearted nature of science coverage in the media.

Despite concerns from the public, a number of journalists defended their work.

“Look, if there’s some bullshit survey about something, or some research paper we can misinterpret in several ways in order to maximise the shock factor, we’ll do it and you’ll gobble it up, because you’re thick,” admitted one journalist we spoke to.