America Tries To Ignore Pale Horse That Just Appeared Beside Trump


“STAY on Trump, stay on Trump” barked the director in the TV control room, trying his best to maintain a sense of calm order following the sudden appearance of a ghostly pale horse onstage with the newly sworn-in POTUS in Washington DC.

“Camera 2, stay on Trump. Camera 3, 4, wide crowd shots only, okay? Keep an eye on the horse, and keep him out of shot”.

A hush fell across the assembled crowd at the inauguration ceremony when the animal appeared moments ago, cloaked in mist and curling its lips back to reveal some very sharp un-horselike fangs, to the left of Donald Trump just as he was sworn into office as the 45th president of the United States.

The arrival of the horse, whose mane on close inspection seems to be made up of the shrieking, miniaturised souls of the trapped dead, was accompanied by what many described as a ‘terrifying peal of thunder’, or perhaps the bellowing roar of some dreadful horn or similar wind instrument, blown with gusto by some unseen heralder of doom.

Despite the clear ramifications of the appearance of such a beast, Americans are currently doing their best to assure each other that everything is fine, and that sometimes pale horses show up and it doesn’t really mean anything about Trump, America, the world, or indeed the end of days.

“The pale horse? Yeah, that’s probably… that’s probably just a stray horse that wandered onto the stage,” said one inauguration attendee, from under a sweat-soaked ‘Make America Great Again’ cap.

“Nothing to worry about, certainly not a harbinger of anything. Just a horse, showing up, saying ‘hello’ in his own horsey way. Now, let’s just all go home and hug our loved ones, everything is going to be just super”.

UPDATE: A skull-faced rider has now appeared on the back of the pale horse, which onlookers are assuring each other is ‘just part of the show’.