Inauguration Held Up While Trump Sorts Out ‘Some Little Punk’ On Twitter


PROCEEDINGS at the presidential inauguration ceremony in Washington DC have been temporarily held up, while president-elect Donald Trump engages in a bitter online flame-war with a Twitter user named ‘MarkBigBallz69’.

Despite family members and White House aides urging Trump to ‘just let it go’, the soon-to-be 45th president of the United States stood hammering at his iPhone for over 20 minutes, claiming, in his own words, that he was ‘taking this little punk to school’.

Sources close to Twitter have confirmed that the kick-off happened after MarkBigBallz69 brought Mr. Trump’s electoral promises, right-wing policies, skin colour, small hands and also his hair into disrepute, with Trump firing back with a nine-tweet barrage of insults and show-off statements.

“We said ‘Mr. President-elect, please, you have more important things to do right now'” said a White House official, speaking to WWN after nipping off for a smoke round the back of the Lincoln memorial while Trump continued his tweeting.

“He’s having none of it, not listening to anyone. It’s obviously important to him, to to argue with lads on Twitter with eggs as their profile pictures. Can’t have them running their mouths off, right? Gotta hold up the freakin’ inauguration ceremony just so you can win that battle, right?”

Trump was eventually drawn away from the online fracas, and was heard to mutter something about his first act as president being to order the FBI to find BigBallz and then launch a drone strike against him.