Top 5 Cocktails To Drink While Pregnant


WITH a damning survey revealing that a startling 60% of Irish women consume alcohol while pregnant, it’s time to take a look at ways in which the average pregnant woman can still have a few drinks now and then without busybodies sticking their beaks in.

Here’s 5 cocktails you should drink during the nine months you’re up the duff, to spare yourself the withering looks from do-gooders.

1) Mojitos

Got doctors, friends and family telling you that you shouldn’t drink while pregnant? Throw their remarks about stunted foetal development in their stupid faces by drinking a nice minty Mojito. Mint helps suppress heartburn and morning sickness, so it’s practically medicine. You’d be stupid to not have a Mojito or two in the second trimester!

2) Sex On the Beach

Avoid withering glances by drinking out of regular glasses, instead of pints from a pint glass or wine from a wine glass. A SOTB served in a regular glass looks just like a glass of any reddish-orangey liquid, meaning you can have as many just-the-one’s as you like.

3) Screwdriver

Same with a Screwdriver; it’s basically a glass of orange juice and like, a wee bit of vodka. But the vodka-orange juice ratio is skewed way in favour of the OJ, so one basically cancels the other out. Its vitamin C, people can’t complain about that too much, can they?

4) Jagerbombs

An infant born with foetal alcohol syndrome is more likely to suffer from facial abnormalities, stunted development and learning disabilities… but can you imagine what you’d be like if you had to stay off the drink for nine whole months? It doesn’t bear thinking about. Get the jagerbombs in!

5) Wine

When all else fails, get classy. A nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc, or a Pignot Grigio… anything that costs more than a tenner a bottle, really. Alcohol only affects foetuses when it is drank from cans by poor people. You’re not drinking Dutch Gold in a flat, you’re having a glass of wine with the girls in a classy restaurant after work. The rules about alcohol during pregnancy couldn’t possibly apply to you! Chin-chin!