“Did Someone Say Nuclear Power Plant?” Ask BAM

BAM CONSTRUCTION are the early favourites to put forth a winning bid for any potential nuclear power plant built on Irish soil, in the wake of comments made by the Taoiseach about how Ireland should be open to a debate on embracing nuclear power.

“With absolutely no room for even one snag item or defect, BAM seem the obvious choice,” confirmed a spokesperson for the Department of Haemorrhaging Money, anticipating a successful tender bid from the National Children’s Hospital builder.

A source close to those who might bid to build such a public project have quickly identified ways to avoid any delays.

“Get the uranium on site first, before any building is done. Too much time is wasted on red tape, the reactor can be built later,” confirmed one construction hopeful.

Possible greenfield sights earmarked for a power plant include a swampy marsh with a history of subsiding soil and sink holes, a field next to a fireworks factory and a building next to the Russian embassy’s secret underground tunnel.

In preparation for the potential move to nuclear power, Irish residents have been asked by the government to fill in forms listing what if any superpowers they would prefer to inherit in a catastrophic nuclear accident, and to also list their preferred superhero name.

Meanwhile, the Irish public has hand-delivered a petition singed by over 500,000 people stating that a move to nuclear power is fine with them as long as they build it on a location far away from civilisation like Cork.