Offline After Hack By ‘Hundreds Of Black Lads’


THE critically acclaimed and much-beloved news website is still offline, amid speculation that the outage may have been caused by a hacking attack perpetrated by hundreds and hundreds of mainly black teenagers.

Spearheaded by Leo Sherlock, one of Ireland’s most respected and balanced journalistic minds, the was a shining beacon of truth and honesty for hundreds of thousands of people, bringing them unbiased, wholly factual news throughout the day, written entirely from scratch by a crack team of reporters the likes of which this country could do with more of.

However, in recent days the site has become inaccessible, and although the official line is that it is “down for scheduled maintenance”, fans of the paper know the real truth; a combing, brute-force cyber attack by a load of black lads, foreigners, single mothers and baby-murdering abortion advocates are at fault.

“You can’t have anything good in this country, without these bastards ruining it,” said one fan, wiping their tears away with a fistful of €250 Penneys vouchers.

“All the Liberal wanted to do was tell it how it is; report on the real issues facing God-fearing, morally flawless Irish people as they try to navigate their way through a sea of drug users and black-market foetus dealers”.

Despite seeing the killed just for reporting on the facts Leo Sherlock has yet to refer to himself or his site as “the Veronica Guerin of today”, but is expected to do so in due course.