5 Things You Can Spend Your Christmas Dole Bonus On


HEY hey hey! It’s party time! If you’re one of the 1.2 million people receiving social welfare payments, then the drinks are on you! You’ll be receiving your 85% Christmas bonus this week, a lovely wee chunk of cash that you can spend on whatever you like! If you’re on the dole or a pensioner, here’s 5 things you can spend your extra dosh on:

1) Food

OK, we’ll get to the fun stuff soon but first things first, you’re going to have to stock up on groceries. You’ve been making do with your social welfare payments so far this year, but it’s mostly been cheap ready-meals and the like. Now you’ve got an extra few quid, you can maybe buy some fresh fruit and vegetables, something more nutritious for you and your kids. But don’t worry, you’ve still lots of your bonus left! Let’s spend spend spend!

2) Heating

Shit, yeah, forgot about the heating. That’s the thing with Christmas, it does tend to be in the winter when it’s cold. Your draughty flat will feel a lot nippier, so you’ll have to buy fuel to heat it or set aside some cash for the gas bill in January. Okay, okay… another few euro for heating. Then we party!

3) Clothes
Now you’re talking! Treat yourself to some new clothes and… well, you’re probably going to have to get some functional clothes first for you and the kids; hats, gloves, warm boots, that kind of thing. Maybe don’t go eying up that jumper from Penneys just yet, let’s see what’s left in the kitty.

4) Bills

Fuck, better chip away at the bills that have built up over the year before you splurge your Christmas bonus on yourself. Let’s see, if you pay this much off that credit card bill then you can use that credit card to pay off your other credit card, which means you can then pay a bit off the electricity bill which means they won’t come looking for you until January, which should give you enough time to scrape together a few quid to keep the phone crowd from the door. Christ, how much of this bonus is left?

5) Drink

FINALLY, after clothing the kids, paying the bills, filling the fridge for the first time in 6 months, paying more bills and heating the house, you have a fiver left to spend on yourself. Head to Tesco and buy yourself a bottle of wine, to drink while watching the telly on your own. Someone in the queue is bound to remark that ‘there’s another sponger, drinking their dole money’. Say nothing. It’s Christmas.