Culchie Wakes Up From Coma Speaking Fluent Dublin

DOCTORS at University Hospital Limerick have said they cannot explain why a county Tipperary patient has suddenly woken up speaking Dublin, after spending 3 months in a coma following a severe car crash.

Peadar Walsh, a 24-year-old culchie from Rosegreen in Tipperary, was put under an induced coma in July when his brain began swelling after hitting his head during the accident.

“Peadar began to slowly wake up last Friday, which was great news for the family at the time,” Dr. Rashid Mohammed explains, “However, things took a turn for the worse after he began stringing sentences together in what we can only describe as Dublin talk”.

First to realise the brain injury was the student’s mother, Joan, who said that she got an awful fright when he greeted her yesterday morning.

“He said something like ‘wasta bleedin’ story, ma?’,” Mrs. Walsh recalled, visibly shaken from the incident, “Then he started asking if ‘the dubs’ won the All Ireland. He has his poor father’s heart broken with this carry on”.

Speaking to WWN earlier, the son-of-two seemed to be fully coherent with this reporter, and claims to have no knowledge of his previous life as a culchie, and said he couldn’t wait to get back to the ‘big smoke’ (Dublin), despite only visiting the city once for a school tour in 2005.

“De nurses in heor are bleedin’ rapid!” Peadar said, giving a cheeky chappy wink to a Filipino nurse, “I’ll tell yis one thing for naughtin’; if I don’t dip me wick soon me balls will turn blue, wha’? Are you’se another culchie? Tis like the bleedin’ 1960s down here, an’all”.

Following our brief interview, both family members and doctors agreed to re-induce Mr. Walsh back into a coma for another few months, in a bid to give his brain some time to heal properly.

“Hopefully he’ll be back to himself soon, otherwise we’ll have to leave him asleep,” mother Joan insisted, “Be fucked if I’m listening to that crap for the rest of my life”.