“Fuck This Shit, I’ll Do Another Four Years”

IN YET another dramatic twist in US election 2016, current American President Barack Obama has vowed to do another four year term if it will mean either Republican and Democrat candidates are kept away from office.

Speaking at the last minute press conference called by the president, Mr. Obama said he could not let this ‘joke continue’, stating he will do everything in his power to stop Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump from taking control.

“I cannot stand by and let this happen anymore,” Obama began, “It is my duty as the president of the United States of America to protect this great nation, even if it is from itself. Fuck this shit, I’ll do another four years!”

The president was greeted with a standing ovation from members of the press, some even crying with relief.

“Oh, thank God!” screamed one NBC news reporter, “We’re saved. We’re all saved!”

Mr. Obama soaked up the applause, wiping a single tear from his cheek, before chanting ‘four more years’, over and over again to the crowd, who were by now also repeating the phrase. The 55-year-old was then hoisted onto a journalist’s shoulder and paraded around the White House press room to cheers of admiration.

Meanwhile, millions of Americans have taken to the streets to celebrate not having to elect either Trump or Clinton, with many people promising never to let this mistake happen, ever again.

It is understood the president will officially call an end to the election later this week.